Oh, here I need to comment because I need you to believe in what I do so that I can be confirmed, or my self-importance has been sparked by yours, and so I comment. I don't mean that latter in a negative way but just the way we are, all of us, here in the center of me-ness.

Okay what do you need? Rather presumptuous of me? Although you might say it doesn't matter one tiny, little bit, being a man might put your defenses up. God, err, I mean, well, do I grab your attention with something that cuts to the quick of things?

It is pertinent. In my family there was a family daemon that appeared in each of our dreams and hypnagogic state in a different form, to my mom as an invisible man that would come in through the back door and into her bedroom and have sex with her. She said she was wide awake and could feel the penetration, which she welcomed, having orgasm. It allowed her also to do small magical things in the room.

Anyway, that was before my sister and I were born. When I was born, it appeared often to me as a friendly dog-dragon, what's called an imaginary playmate to the skeptical. It would be there grinning as my mom induced orgasm in me, from birth until I was four, when it tricked me into the Void (explained in another comment if you want to hear briefly about that). It had taught me how to make inner journeys to strange inner worlds, kinds Carlos Castaneda talks about (and Sri Aurobindo), and also induce a cataleptic trance, and go out of the body.

By four I was an adept, although during the remainder of my childhood out of body experiences just happened by accident, like the time at 12 I watched my best friend walk to my house one Saturday morning and was awoken by him ringing the doorbell. He was so surprised as I described everything he did as he walked to my house, even the tune he whistled. I was just this spirit floating around him trying my best to get his attention.

In college I began to systematically explore both lucid dream and out of body, which had gone dormant while a Green Beret and such in the army. You can read about it online. Anyway, that inner exploration culminated in experiencing my grandfather's death inside his body while he died two weeks before he did, all described online, and I call that inner body time travel, but it just happened, was not something I even knew the possibility of, but I was wide open as you might imagine.

How long is my comment, article length, and here I'm talking about your needs. Let's get to them then, although I have been mentioning it: the need to do more inner exploration.

As my inner and metaphysical experiences stacked up and my ability to have them, I began to wonder if there was a God. Like you, I was science-minded but realized science didn't know the half of it yet, and magic was just more of nature we hadn't become conscious of yet. But the existence of that didn't mean there was a God. I almost lost my sanity to actually seeing deity on an inner (upper) journey to that place Jesus talks about when he says "in my father's house there are many mansions." He just put that in his culture's terms, which is man-made. That story is forthcoming in a book I'm finishing and will be posted online too, not published, just posted. I only relate it here to get to the punch line.

While in university beginning grad work in the History of Science, not even yet officially enrolled, just conferring with a prof over the proposal and taking an undergrad class of his (for fact checkers), I wanted to explore the possibility that the early Greek 'scientists' used unembodied beings in their 'investigations'. So I conjured a demon, using techniques Castaneda talks about in his books about how to see an Ally. The science-minded would call it a class three hallucination because other people besides myself had encounters with it after I conjured it, people in other locations, whom I was talking to about these sorts of things, and one them just went bonkers and took his wife and baby hostage, and the SWAT team had to be called out. It's all in a story online.

Looking back at me in the glass crystal ball I held, one from India and one I'd fully prepped with my fluids and energy, looking the way Escher does at himself in one in a drawing of his, was ole Chevy, that grinning dog- dragon, giving the same grin he gave when he tricked me into the Void, and he had his silver, electrocuted furry arm over my shoulder (in the reflection) like in a family portrait. He was now loose in my life. Castaneda, the sly, ole devil, warns grinningly about such a possibility.

What was I to do but start seriously returning to the question of deity? which I'd heretofore just put on the back burner still uncomfortable with any notion of God. That eventually led me to my teachers, after some years of ardent searching I might add, a man and a woman, and to India, where I'm a sadhak of a yoga doing sadhana, more interested in becoming who I am (who we are) than in metaphysical experiences and magic (although I don’t discount their value and practice), and who I truly am is not a sadhak doing yoga, or a man living in India, or even Donny Duke, just as you’re not really an atheist witch— know what I mean?

Anyway, by all means, continue to explore yourself on the inside, paying attention too where that inside intersects with the outside, and if you simply can't or don't know how to do that more fully than you have, then be able to come to terms with the fact that other people have explored the issues you have in regards to God(s) and demons with more depth (in regards to other types of unembodied beings also, nature spirits for example), or at least accept that other people have experienced things that do not fit into your 'there are no such things as spirits' box, and that they just might actually have done so.

Whatever characteristics I have, whatever my history, I don’t identify with those things to the point I say I am this or that. I am, like you, something else.